This past week I said good-bye to a friend. It was a difficult week. I missed our conversations. I missed the teasing. I missed the encouragement. I missed his smile.

My last conversation with this friend was about the start of school. A family, new to our district, had just finished a visit to my office and a tour of the building. We were standing near the west doorway of the elementary wing near my office admiring the huge machinery that was starting the remodeling project to our elementary/high school building. My dear friend waited a few minutes and finally chirped in a comment to the parents on how good I was as a superintendent and how much I enjoyed “treats.” The young couple smiled as they made their way to the door. I will miss those fun-loving ribbings.

My friend and I sat down for a short visit. Our visits never lasted more than 15 or 20 minutes at a time but always seemed to come at a time when I really needed a lift or a friendly smile. That day was no different. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with the remodeling project, the pending school auction, the start of school in just a few days, four support staff positions to fill, final preparations for the district’s annual meeting, and an upcoming school board meeting to prepare for. I felt as though the tidal wave was about to come crashing down.

My dear friend took my mind off those pending crisis as he interjected his “county school” philosophy on how to deal with students and staff. His rule of operation was quite simple. There is a right way and wrong way. Do what is right and everything will go along smoothly. I will miss those pearls of wisdom.

Part of being friends, I think, is the realization you do not have to agree on everything. As we go through life we do not have to change friends if we just realize friends change. It is ok to disagree. It is ok to discuss, and to discuss with passion, one side of an issue. Real friendship is built on ground solid enough to withstand a minor disagreement from time to time. I will miss that.

My friend had learned the pattern of the school day. He knew when it was most busy. He also understood my heart is with working with kids and that I could seldom be found in my office in the morning when I love to be in the hallways and walking through classrooms. He knew those things about me and this place of learning.

A few short months ago he stopped by as I was having a “conversation” with two young men who had misbehaved on the playground. He stood quietly in the doorway as I concluded our telephone calls to mom and dad at work. He said nothing as he listened to both boys explain how they felt about the misbehavior. He took it all in as they eventually shook hands and worked together to develop a plan to solve the conflict from happening in the future. As they turned to leave my office he reinforced my warnings and my advice. He “backed me up.” I will miss that.

Several years ago my grandparents wrapped up their journeys on this earth. In the words and conversations of my friend I heard their voices again. I heard the struggles they had gone through during a more difficult economic time. I heard the tales about going to school where you had to fetch the water and fire up the stove. I heard about the simple games they played and pranks they had pulled. I heard about school, church, family, and neighbors. I heard about the vast number of changes he had witnessed in his lifetime. I am going to miss that.

On one of his last visits to my office I walked him to his pick-up the way I always did. As we stepped from the curb he commented, “What are people going to think if they see two men holding hands in NAME?” I commented, “They will think they just saw two friends holding each other up.” I am going to miss that.

Hold each other up. Good-bye, friend.